I'm impatient. I am truly as impatient as they come. "A toe tapper at the microwave, a buy a new Keurig if it delays for even a second to brew my coffee, a drive 20 miles out of the way rather than sit in traffic" kind of gal. So waiting for Christmas to arrive has never been a strong suit. As a kid, I even snuck into my mother's closet and unwrapped all my gifts (carefully of course, as to leave no evidence), because I couldn't wait the two weeks until Christmas to know what was in those packages. Truly as IMPATIENT as they come.
Today's chapter in When Faith Feels Fragile truly convicted me on this character trait especially in regards to my spiritual development. While I am so blessed to have a deep faith in God, and truly feel that Jesus is my friend, brother, savior and teacher, there are moments I struggle to wait for the Almighty's plan in my life to be revealed. I seek tirelessly for signs and wonders, and grow discouraged and forlorn when I don't have a clear picture of what is expected from me, or where the road is leading. What I particularly loved about this chapter from Fr. Hurd, was his explanation of St. Paul's conversion. How although we look at it as being instantaneous - a little knock off a horse, a temporary blindness, a visit from the Risen Lord, and POOF, he is a devout, on the right road, 24/7 Christian.. RIGHT!! Um, Not so much!! Here are a few of Paul's own words to make the point:
It was a lifelong struggle, as Fr. Hurd reminds us, as will be our own spiritual journey. While it would, and can be so easy to become discouraged - all I need to do is put myself in Jesus' presence in Adoration, and I realize what great Love He has for me. When I sit before Him, I am sitting in Heaven, because that is where He abodes, with all of the saints (named and unnamed), the angels and of course Our Blessed Mother. I am surrounded by a cloud of witnesses, who like St. Paul, struggled to follow God's will, but longed with their whole hearts to please Him.
Ultimately, how can I get discouraged when I know God's plan for me is holiness, eternal life, and joy. How can I lose hope or faith in this plan, when I am convinced HE would never set me up to fail. Never.