In Chapter 2, of The Grace of Yes, titled "The Grace of Generativity", Lisa speaks candidly on her early understanding of love and its move from a more self-satisfying to a more shared and selfless love. That struggle that so many of us can relate to of giving ourselves in love - that beautiful 'unconditional' or 'true communion' kind of love.
In addition, she shares beautiful insights into the idea of 'generativity' through the Sacrament of Marriage. The lessons we learn as we witness marriage of our parents or friends, and the lessons we learn as we experience marriage ourselves. Some may consider marriage and our faith live as separate entities but truly when we 'marry' them we are opening ourselves and our families to great blessings and graces.
"For so many years my concept of love dwelt too greatly on self-satisfaction. And even now, I have too many days when "What's in it for me," is my mantra. On the days we get this right, love means passionate, profound, secure attachment, that is at its very core, life-affirming, life-giving, and generative."
Lisa Hendey, The Grace of Yes
To Ponder from The Grace of Yes: How do your spiritual learnings shape the way you love?
This weekend I was giving my Seeking the Peace of Forgiveness, where I share a story about my struggle with Catholicism. One of the participants asked, "Why do you think during your crisis of faith, that you choose to remain Catholic, while your friends did not?" Suddenly, I recalled a very significant detail (long forgotten by me) that beautifully answered the question. During that time of questioning and searching, my husband, Kevin, went to daily Mass to pray for me. He prayed for me to find the fullness of Truth, that he had in the Catholic Faith. He never preached nor even spoke a word about any of this during that time, he merely brought me and this intention to God in prayer, trusting in the power of those prayers and our Sacramental bond.
Kevin loved me enough to know I needed to travel whatever road God had me on, and that him trying to drag me where he wanted would not be fruitful. Instead, he just loved me - totally and completely - where I was and for who I was, but never ceasing in his prayers. Honestly, he isn't even the one who revealed this vigil of Mass attendance - it was a friend who was touched by his love and dedication who (when it was all over) thought I should know! For that, and for him I am eternally grateful!
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