Ben Walther’s song, “A Light to the Nations” inspired me to consider an important question: What LIGHT do I have to bring forth? On rare occasions it is a torch; but more often it is a matchstick.
In order to go forth, as Ben’s song encourages, to be a sign of God’s love and hope to others … first I have to allow myself to be a recipient of these great gifts…
What Is My Greatest Fear?
Dying. I’m probably not alone in that. Some of it is a fear of what is to come; but mostly it is what I will leave behind. Social Media has certainly NOT helped my anxiety issues – with every cancer story or other sickness prayer request – comes an interior struggle not to become obsessed with the possibility of being next to succumb to that illness. The selfishness and arrogance that I recognize in this battle truly embarrasses me. This week was one of the many times when a minor health issue -fairly sure I over taxed my body with steroids and vitamin A&D from hand lotions. **FYI** there are good reasons for dosage and usage information on medications. These symptoms sent me spinning into full blown panic attacks; and kicked off a barrage of inward ‘all about me‘ prayers that often accompany these episodes.
This morning in Mass, as Ben’s song was wafting through my thoughts, I had the most interesting inspiration. How good the demons are at keeping me from being that light God calls me to be. They don’t need to do much; I am all too easily nudged into these spirals which keep me very well occupied for most of the day (week, month, etc). It is hard to control my mind not to think the worse; because the worse happens! Why would I be spared when others are not; there are so many stories of people fine one day and gone soon after. **For this reflection – I will not go into why this should not frighten me especially when there is great peace in contemplating that death brings me to Christ, and therefore is a reward and not a punishment. However, the fear is not necessarily where I am going; but what I will leave behind. One strange pang or ache … and my anxieties are off and running!
The Fear is Real but the HOPE God offers is way MORE REAL …
Anxiety is an illness; one I have fought with and without medication for most of my life. Someday I may have to fight cancer, or one of the million of other diseases I live in fear of – but right now worry is the disease I am called to fight. The one that steals my hope; and makes me quickly forget the love God has for me. “The world,” as Ben reminds me, “needs to know Your might!”
Let’s take a moment … to bring our fears, worries and illnesses to Christ … as we worship together with Ben Walther’s song:
What Do I Possible have to Bring?
- Honesty of who I really am – an anxious, fearful, God loving woman.
- The knowledge that LIFE is filled with unknowns but GOD is not one of them.
- A desire to share what God IS DOING in my life. He is not distant!
- The realization that despite thinking I had to have it all figured out before I could come to God or bring his light and love to others could not have been further from the truth. God wants me exactly where I am; and who I am – fears and all.
- My daily attempts (even when feeble) to love God with all of my mind, body and soul; and to love my neighbor as myself.
- A willingness to be reborn every day in the light of Christ; so that I may be that light to others!
Scripture Seeking …
So fortified in the truth, and moved by scripture and music let us go be … A Light to all Nations!
CHECK OUT MORE INSPIRING MUSIC, SCRIPTURE AND REFLECTIONS:
- ABLAZE – DEBBIE GAUDINO
- LOVE LIKE WATER – DEANNA BARTALINI
- WONDERS OF YOUR LOVE – STEPHANIE ENGELMAN
- TAKE ME – ELIZABETH REARDON
- MAKE YOUR HOME IN ME – MICHELLE GELINEAU
Learn more about Ben Walther …