The music of Sarah Krogerplays in the background and I hear her beautiful voice singing the words of truth and offering  a consolation of peace….

This is my story. This is my song.

Ah yes, the story of Christmas… one miraculous moment in the narrative of my family history handed down through time. My life is woven into the very fabric of Salvation History and right now, is told again through the grace of Sarah’s soulful prayer. It is the consolation for my sorrow; the same consolation found upon the Cross of Jesus Christ by way of the Via Dolorosa(“way of sorrows”); A reminder that the only way to fully rise to the joyof the Nativity is through the grace of the Passion of Christ.

The Christmas Blues… the annual reminder that we are empty, longing to be filled. We long for home and to remember our place in our own story and if we are paying attention, we find it in the creche. This song is about our place in God’s dream and the Divine Love which would give all again just for us. Just for one. Just for me. And this song isn’t really intended to be a Christmas song but I can’t think of any theme more fitting.

It’s okay to weep in sorrow even while we celebrate. Jesus wept at the loss of Lazaruseven though He knew that He would raise Him again. The sublime mystery of the Cross frightens a culture seeking to flee suffering because we want the joy without the grief. The Christ  “story” shows us that to truly know fullness and love, we must be willing to weep. ​

High on the mountain, tossed to the seas
I am remembered, You are for me
Your voice is freedom, your word is peace
I am remembered, You are for me

In the midst of the grief and the busyness and crushing obligations, I am remembered… not as a bit player in a magnificent production, but as a beloved daughter with a permanent place in the family.  All that the Lord asks of me is to trust in Him and take one step at a time, moving forward toward His loving gaze. I can’t help but think of my toddler who stumbles to me with arms high and outstretched. She might want some water, an apple, shoes tied, or songs sung; but she knows that she needs to raise her arms to me first in order for all else to be realized. And she trusts that it will.​

We finish texting and I put Sarah’s song on repeat. On the other side of the digital world, my dear friend is probably crying and my heart breaks anew at the thought. We are walking the same journey. Our details vary but our grieving and lonely hearts are united in sorrow, and yes, also in the joy of Jesus Christ. The song plays on and I hear His name….

Jesus, You are my song.
Jesus, You are my song.
Jesus, You are my song.

I gasp at the beautiful name. I cannot help it. And I begin to weep. The joy is so deep that it hurts. Is there anything or anyone else that matters in the moment than He? I stop struggling against the melancholy effect of the Christmas afterglow and sink deeply into the peace of Christ.

This is my story. Jesus is my story. I am remembered. It is enough. ​

Philippians 4:6-8 (to find peace)
Matthew 17:1-8 (to see Jesus alone)
John 11: 1-45 (to see the compassion of Christ)
Colossians 3:15-17 (to restore gratitude)

It is no surprise that the Christmas season brings such complexity of joy and sorrow since the contradiction between the spiritual and the worldly is dramatic. The cure is always Christ alone but since most of us cannot go to the holy mountain to see Him, we must learn how to orient ourselves to Him in all things. By structuring our lives to drink in and reflect the peace, presence, compassion, and gift of our Savior, we will instinctively lean into the cross of our grief during the seasons of tension… and rejoice even while we weep. Thanks be to God!

All Rights Reserved Melody Lyons / Allison Gingras, 2016
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Melody Lyons is a homeschooling mother of 8, speaker, and writer at Blossoming Joy. Her conversion from New Age feminist to faithful daughter of the Church was born of one word: Mercy. It is the name of Mercy, Christ Himself, which compels her to witness to others.