“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist,
there is disorder and every evil thing.”
Every morning I have the same routine – wake up, say a quick prayer, make coffee, jump on the internet. Where I then search, read, and share Catholic content from Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, and Google+, just to name a few. I sometimes spend hours looking at all the great things other people are saying, doing and photographing.
It seems all well and fine while I’m online. I am excited by all the amazing things God is doing with so many amazing people who are willing to answer YES to God’s call to serve and share His Good News. Yet, quietly, almost unnoticeable something is happening that if left unchecked will be a great tool for the enemy. As I explore, read, and re-post comparisons develop. As I become aware of other people’s opportunities or good fortune, a seed of sadness sometimes grows. As I look at the shiny coverings of the Catholic bloggers, media savvy posters and New Evangelizers, my own shell appears duller and duller. Insecurity creeps in as I look at the degrees people hold, ideas they had first, and books they’ve been blessed to have published – and discouragement overtakes me. It is subtle, it may even go undetected for a while – but it is there and I know it because my JOY wanes and anxiety abounds.
So there you have it – my weakest link – I am an incredibly jealous and envious person. It is a battle I have to consciously fight every day. The evil thing and disorder that St. James speaks about is how the enemy can use it to either paralyze me or blind me to what other’s have to offer. It isn’t all on Satan either – he may get the ball rolling, but I do just fine and dandy keeping the momentum going all on my own! Recognizing these temptations and flaws of my nature are an important first step in overcoming them. Aside from acknowledging them, I’ve also learned that my faith offers some incredibly helpful assistance as well!
Battling Envy with the Tools of Faith
- Prayer – I open up dialog with God – Father, Son and Holy Spirit. So I may open myself to hear and respond to God’s Will for me. I also seek intercession and guidance from Our Blessed Mother and the Saints.
- Sacraments – I am blessed to have what I call the Spiritual Trifecta every Friday – Reconciliation, Mass, and a Holy Hour before the Blessed Sacrament. I rely very heavily on the grace of the Sacraments to keep me focused outwardly on God and not inward!
- Spiritual Direction – I am not in this alone. Thoughts keep inside remain in the dark, where the prince of darkness reigns, but when I speak them into the light the Prince of Light casts His love over them.
- Scripture – I turn to the Word of God to stay grounded in Truth and not the lies of the enemy or my own head. St. Paul’s words in 1 Cor 12:27-31 (NASB) have become my greatest weapon. This reminder that I have my own charge by God – and all the gifts and talents I need to accomplish what He calls me to. The beauty of Church is we NEED each other, we are all in this together, and it is working in communion with each other that God is truly Glorified, and His work and will be done. Life is not a competition but a coming together.
Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it.
And God has appointed in the church, first apostles, second prophets,
third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healings,
helps,administrations, various kinds of tongues.
All are not apostles, are they?
All are not prophets, are they? All are not teachers, are they?
All are not workers of miracles, are they?
All do not have gifts of healings, do they?
All do not speak with tongues, do they?
All do not interpret, do they? But earnestly desire the greater gifts.
And I show you a still more excellent way.
~ 1 Cor 12:27-31
All Rights Reserved, Allison Gingras 2016
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